Mental Health, Suicide and the time in-between

 Long time no update,

>What's been going on? Where are you? Why haven't you responded? What the fuck?

In short, this past bit has been hard, really hard. There's no easy way to say this, so I'll just say it. I made two attempts on my life and ended up in a hospital for a few weeks. When I came out, I was put on new medications and they left me in a state not fitting to be running operations, or handling pretty much anything.

Over the past bit here I've been getting stable, and relying on my support network. I'm at a point where I can return and catch up on everything, but it's strange. I haven't been in this office in over a month and a half, the drinks I left out just got cleaned up, my hands aren't used to my GergoPlex and I'm trying to figure out inventory for whatever I need to order. In addition it all feels a bit foreign, like a old childhood bedroom.

It's a mess to say the least, but I'm here and writing this aren't I? Finding the words/courage to express this has taken a ton of time and at least four different rewrites of this. The words aren't perfect, and this is curt but just know I'm doing my best.

As an aside, mental health has been one of the biggest challenges I've ever faced. I thought I was stronger then this and above it, I was wrong. It has taken finding a community of similar experiences to allow me to find the words, people to support and be supported by, lots of raw conversations and being amazingly honest, open and empathetic to myself and the folks who have supported me and in kind. Some of my experiences are unique, many are not, but understanding that I have a community, a support network and people to lean on is a weight off.

If you or anyone you know has struggled with mental health, please send them a message with you phone number, let them know a 4AM phone call is OK. Just having that can make all the difference. But please, please don't crowd them, just reach out.

Anyway, back on to business.

> Where's my package? It shipped a month ago?

I had issues with Canada Post returning all of my last runs parcels. One of my partners received these while I was still in hospital, but they are being re-labeled and shipped out by end of week. Thankfully the issue has been cleared up. You should expect 2-3weeks for US destinations

> You posted this but haven't responded?

I'm working through the backlog of comms right now, to say there's a ton is an understatement. I should get to yours within the next 24 hours.

> What do you think the turn around time for kits is?

Hard to say, I need to inventory everything and I have a feeling I'm going to need to source some parts. I'll try and keep this updated, but for now assume a week or two minimum.

> Any chance of getting a Ready?

If you're okay waiting, send me a DM. Just be aware that _there still is a backlog_ and those orders will be processed after the backlog is cleared.

> My order hasn't shipped, can I still get a refund?

Of course, as long as it doesn't contain a group buy item! Just reach out via Discord.

> How are you?

I'm getting there, I'm trying not to lie to myself anymore about thinking I can handle everything. In good news though, my documents are all updated and I'm working on getting my surgery date! If you want to help out with those costs, donate a pile Red Bulls, buy a toque or something of the sort, every bit helps!

I'm glad to still be here and getting through this. Thanks for being along,
-- Jane